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Body & Soul

by Deerheart

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1.
I'm older than I've ever been And young as I will ever be Every morning when I wake up I'm afraid of what I'll see I'm riding behind a hearse tonight And I'm wondering why it's not me inside CHORUS Hey, hey, I'm on the outside and I'm looking in I take a breath, close my eyes and count to ten Still I find I'm outside looking in I'm strong as I will ever be Yet I find I can't compete With everyone who's come before The Greek gods and the minotaurs Oh, as I lay me down to sleep I pray the Lord my soul to reap CHORUS REPEAT Everything I thought I wanted I got in spades Down the road that led my father To an early grave Every place I go Every place I think I know Has been trod before So much more thoroughly There's nothing in this world that's mine So I find myself resigned CHORUS REPEAT CHORUS REPEAT
2.
Her daddy left when she was ten And she hasn't seen that man since then Still she thinks about him every now and again He ran around with every girl in town When he was feeling bold he'd even bring 'em around And they'd all go for a picnic at the old playground Whenever mama wasn't around Oh daddy's pretty friends were so much fun It was their little secret what daddy had done And when daddy left she thought 'bout each and every one And wondered which one made him run She's a pocketful of miracles She held onto her heart through the cold and the dark She's a pocketful of miracles Well her mama raised her fast and wild It wasn't long 'fore she learned just how far a girl can get with a smile And she became the kind of girl who's always in style Well she took off ruining down a wayward track She hit every black mark and those marks hit back When it came to bad choices that girl had a knack And all the pills and powders and fucked up men Couldn't put that girl back together again There were too many mornings wondering if or when Walking off another heartache in the January wind She's a pocketful of miracles She held onto her heart through the cold and the dark She's a pocketful of miracles She's a pocketful of miracles She held onto her heart through the cold and the dark She's a pocketful of miracles She's a pocketful of miracles She found a way to a brighter day She's a pocketful of miracles
3.
Float Away 05:04
She pours another shot and wonders How many men she has lain under She thinks, I could have been so many things Locks up the bar, walks to her car, wishes for Spring At home her mother's on the sofa She tells her friends it's she who's raising her granddaughter She says, you should have known that boy'd disown Anything resembling responsibility Float away, float away Why can't she just float away Float away, float away How she wants to float away Her brother Robert used to tell her Write your own life like a bestseller He was just twenty-three that Christmas Eve That say black ice did put him right into that tree Float away, float away Oh how could he float away Float away, float away How she wants to float away Float away, float away She just wants to float away She says, I wasn't built to live like this Life's hard enough without this shit She lights another smoke and wonders If maybe this will be the summer She drops twenty pounds, goes from blonde to brown Perhaps time's come for them to quit this fucking town Float away, float away How she wants to float away Float away, float away She just wants to float away Float away, float away Why can't she just float away Float away, float away Float away...
4.
She called, said, meet me at the station Eight o'clock, there was no negotiation A long time desired situation She brought a friend, said her name was Candee The three of us was crammed into the front seat She said, how about the beach tonight I felt the rain upon us falling I heard their voices softly calling We were getting wet and sandy And her lips tasted just like Candee I felt a sudden change in pressure Forgotten until they both got dressed, yeah She laughed, man, you came in handy And now her kisses taste like Candee, oh-oh-oh She said she loved my little ragtop and Maybe she'd see me at the nightclub Told me, don't think this had to do with love It was all about... Candee, pretty little motormouth Candee, speedy little runabout Candee. moaning now she's coming out Candee, yeah, she's all about Candee now Oh she's all about Candee now All about Candee now And she tastes like Candee now
5.
I was born a dirty secret, someone's lustful oversight In a house of damaged goods I was just one more sleepless night A true unwanted number, disappeared but for the times I was truly out of sight and out of mind I'm a funky piece of puzzle that's been forced to fit between An actor who has wandered into the wrong damn scene Somewhere there is a vacuum where once I should have been Closed like a wound in someone's fading dream Batteries were not included with this toy I was built to disappoint and little more I'm that great underachiever who's always fallen short I'm the one you'll settle for when you're tired of being sport When all you want is love Like a greasy smear of lipstick on a Sunday pillowcase The way your curtains flutter and remind you of your place The way your bathroom mirror can only show your one true face I'm out of time and without space Batteries were not included with this toy I was built to disappoint and little more And what I have to offer seems to never be enough I'm the one you'll settle for when you're tired of being tough When all you want is... There's a road out there somewhere That's all grown over, weeds and dirt and If you dig perhaps you'll find my way Well maybe I'm too selfish, or I'm not selfish enough Was it strength or was it panic when the going got to rough A lifetime never learning when or where to place your trust Does it matter in the end When you're alone again Batteries were not included with this toy I was built to disappoint and little more I'm that great underachiever who's always fallen short I'm the one you'll settle for when you're tired of being sport When all you want is love Batteries were not included with this toy I was built to disappoint and little more And what I have to offer seems to never be enough I'm the one you'll settle for when you're tired of being tough When all you want is love When all you want is love
6.
Some fine day, all our troubles will just blow away Like dandelions on a summer day, just wait and see Some fine day, every hurt that you have ever felt Every injustice you feel you've been dealt, will be put to paid Some fine day, every penny you have ever spent Every dollar stuffed into your pants, will be so much sand Some fine day, every question you have ever had About the good, bad, ugly and the sad, won't matter at all Some fine day, don't you know it's just a breath away There'll be no more misery, there'll be no more you or me Some fine day, every person you have ever known Love or hated or just left alone, will be together as one Some fine day, we won't even be a memory This very moment ancient history, and you are what you leave Some fine day, don't you know it's just a breath away There'll be no more misery, there'll be no more you or me Don't take it on alone, don't take it on alone Don't take it on alone, don't take it on alone Some fine day, don't you know it's just a breath away There'll be no more misery, there'll be no more you or me Some fine day, perhaps there'll be no more race On this dying husk out in space, we'll all have one face Some fine day, don't you know it's just a breath away There'll be no more misery, there'll be no more you or me Some fine day, can't you feel it's just a breath away Everything you have ever feared, will eventually disappear Don't take it on alone, don't take it on alone Don't take it on alone, don't take it on alone Don't take it on alone, don't take it on alone Don't take it on alone, don't take it on alone Don't take it on alone, don't take it on alone Don't take it on alone, don't take it on alone
7.
Body & Soul 03:57
When she goes, she goes so hard She goes so fast, so goes so far She's a got a way, like no one before A raconteur, a tawdry pet, she wants so much more And she loved him body and soul She gave him her body and soul But it was not to be for she gave so carelessly Her body and soul, body and soul When she's lonely, when she's sad There are places she know that ain't so bad And it's so easy when you look like that When you think like that, you talk like that When you act like that And she loved them body and soul She gave them her body and soul But it was not to be for she gave so carelessly Her body and soul, her body and soul And she loved them body and soul She gave them her body and soul But it was not to be for she gave so carelessly Her body and soul, her body and soul Her body and soul, her body and soul
8.
She left home when she was just seventeen Too many ghost, too many ugly scenes See, in the city at night everything's pretty under disco lights She found herself a dangerous man She went lookin' for a reason, lookin' for a reason She called herself Nikki 'coz that's what the boys seemed to like And Crazy Nikki became a good place to hide Her life was fun and games, anonymous lovers and lines of cocaine Hanging from her balcony She was lookin' for a reason, lookin' for a reason She's lookin' for a reason for the things she'd done Lookin' for a reason, trying to understand She's lookin' for a reason, the way she live her life Lookin' for a reason out of pinhole eyes She's lookin' for a reason, lookin' for a, for a Lookin' for a reason She's lookin' for a reason, lookin' for a, for a Lookin' for a reason He sits alone staring at the terminal glare He wonders if she's still out there somewhere For twenty years she's been his go-to girl Now she's another man's wife, she's another man's world But she kind of still looks the same And he's lookin' for a reason, lookin' for a reason Lookin' for a reason Lookin' for a reason, lookin' for a reason Lookin' for a reason, lookin' for a reason
9.
I first saw her on Main Street A mint chip cone in her hand Gliding by on dancer's feet Moving like a rock 'n roll band She looked my way, looked right through me With eyes the colour or Spring I saw her smile and I heard her laugh And I wanted her everything And I loved her on sight Reckless as that seems I was just a boy that night And she as of my dreams She wore a purple dress and five inch heels Brown hair up in a bun She had pouty lips that were made to be kissed She looked to be about twenty-one I saw, pardon me, miss, but I can't help But feel we've met before She smiled and said, I don't think so 'Coz I'd remember you And I loved her on sight Reckless as that seems I was just a boy that night And she as of my dreams I said, sweet miss, it is my guess Your heart is like a poem She said, and if you break it You bought it, you take it home And I loved her on sight Reckless as that seems I was just a boy that night And she as of my dreams Yes I've loved her since that night And every in-between It's been thirty years gone by And she's still of my dreams I first saw her on Main Street A mint chip cone in her hand
10.
I woke over Charlotte Flight two four three five New York was behind me In the sunsetting sky I came bearing presents Some fine Brooklyn slate For an intimate stranger For whom I could not wait CHORUS When I landed at Jackson She was there at the gate We shared a kiss like no other A kiss that founded our faith In her arms I found comfort In her eyes, my soulmate To her love I surrendered In her bed I did quake CHORUS And every road we walked together Left it's mark on me, I never Doubted for a single moment The spell we shared would not be broken And every taste and every kiss That sultry mouth, those lover's hips In my arms tonight she's sleeping Her precious heart I'll be safe-keeping CHORUS CHORUS
11.
California 04:36
Sail on sunny days I finally found my way In the arms of a gypsy queen She'd lived so many lives Been a lover, been a wife Tangled up in blue and a sea of green But there was something feral staring out behind those eyes Fish gotta swim, birds gotta fly She's gone to California She said, don't say I didn't warn ya Sometimes I gotta go off road 'Coz babe that's how I roll But I'll be back again in a couple of days Ya just gotta have a little faith Riding out stormy nights Trying to hold on tight Pitching to and fro on a slippery deck Doing what I can To be a stand-up man And not worry to expect Wo, she'll be cruising that Pacific Coast Highway Free as a bird from Frisco to L.A. She's gone to California She said, don't say I didn't warn ya You say you don't want me to leave You've gotta let me breathe But I'll be back again in a couple of days Ya just gotta have a little faith (Him: I just want to know that when I wake up tomorrow you're still gonna be here. Her: I can't give you that... nobody can) Sail on sunny days I finally found my way In the arms of a gypsy queen She's gone to California She said, don't say I didn't warn ya You say you wanna help me grow Well sometimes you gotta let me go But I'll be back again in a couple of days Ya just gotta have a little faith She's gone to California She said, don't say I didn't warn ya Sometimes I gotta go off road 'Coz baby that's how I roll But I'll be back again in a couple of days Ya just gotta have a little faith
12.
Friday night he's cruising on the upper east side Tomorrow he's in Brooklyn, the motherfucker's citywide He all dressed up in disco, got a sweet Mercedes Benz Now he don't need a limo to turn out all your friends Oh yeah, he don't care He's a freak, he's a punk, he's one sketchy bitch Oh yeah, but when he's here He's the man who'll satisfy your every itch He'll cut off your finger if you come up short You don't wanna linger, you gotta lose the child support He's got pistol in his waistband, a blackjack in his boot He'll give you the backhand, so don't you be irresolute Oh yeah, he don't care He's a freak, he's a punk, he's one sketchy bitch Oh yeah, but when he's here He's the man who'll satisfy your every itch All the girls, they want him 'coz he give them what they need A little bit of dustin' and they doing what he please Oh yeah, he don't care He's a freak, he's a punk, he's one sketchy bitch Oh yeah, but when he's here He's the man who'll satisfy your every itch He's the man who'll satisfy your every itch The man who'll satisfy your every itch The man who'll satisfy your every itch
13.
Oh I've been waiting since forever Familiar place, I'd never Been to, or had known In the weeds is where she left me Spent behind the bench she Used to hold her own Merry Christmas was still in our mouths Mingled with our wedding vows In her cap I did look like a sailor As we sowed that frozen ground This had taken me a liftetime Of searching, in the meantime No southern belle was she In my arms she wept an told me She'd forever hold me She kept my DNA Merry Christmas was still in our mouths Mingled with our wedding vows In her cap I did look like a sailor As we sowed that frozen ground In her pale pink party dress She looked just like a princess Easting cheeseburgers and cake At such an unexpected age She showed me all her special places Her secret oasis And sealed it with a kiss Merry Christmas was still in our mouths Mingled with our wedding vows In her cap I did look like a sailor As we sowed that frozen ground As we sowed that frozen ground
14.
Leave 06:00
I'm not looking for absolution You'll never hear my apologize I can only see one solution Out of these weary blackened eyes When you wish upon a scar The blood runs hotter than before I'm not looking for affirmation I've got no time for the silly games You let me have aspirations The left me hanging just the same Years have gone by and nothing changed Don't you think it's just a little strange It's time to leave The way I should have years ago I suppose I've always known That it's your dog and pony show I've been hanging on your opinion Hoping to be sanctified Banging on the wall of your dominion I still feel the sting of your fratricide You and I will keep going round and round Til we've run it into the ground It's time to leave All the hours that I've spent Trying to see inside your head What made you think that I'd forget You kept me hanging way too long I never felt that I belonged You treat me like a tagalong You and I will keep going round 'Til one of us is in the ground It's time to leave It's black or white, no in-between These pieces are broken Too much left unspoken It's time to leave It's black or white, no in-between It's all broken These pieces are broken It's way past time It's way past time

credits

released September 7, 2018

All songs written & performed by Tom Ciorciari
except "Outside Looking In", written by Tom Ciorciari & Roy Edwards
© 2018 Tom Ciorciari/BMI

with:
Jessica Upham: Harmonies
Russ Seeger: Violin
Ellen Ryan: Trumpet
Lyn Ciorciari: Horn

Produced by Tom Ciorciari
Mixed by Gary Atturio & T.C.
Mastered by Alex DeTurk at Strange Weather, Brooklyn, NY
Photos: Becca Vogel

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